July is history. Gone. Vamoose. Out.
It’s been a tough couple months with this guy right here holding the supposed broken headphones. With all the personal crap going on I try to keep a positive head on my shoulders and keep to myself and very close friends.
I’m not going to go into details with my personal life. The only reason I am even mentioning myself having tough times is because some days are harder than others and the last thing I really want to do is post something on this site.
This site however is a huge accomplishment to myself and I can not believe it is almost one year old. I remember just one year ago sitting in a lobby with Matt in Baltimore listening to him talk about how much fun he was having with his site Addicted To Vinyl. I decided that once I got back from that trip, let me rephrase that, once I drove Matt and Rad-am back from that trip as I always do when we venture to festivals, I would research about making my own blogging site.
For a couple of weeks I was pondering what I should name the site. I wanted it to be more musical than personal so I wanted to incorporate music into the title. I sat long and hard and finally Broken Headphones came into my head. I saw that someone else out there had the same name but it was a Word Press account that was no longer active so I figured it was my turn.
Just in case you were wondering I did have another title I almost used: Pronounce The Bark. I actually have been wanting to use that for a long time. When I was younger I had dreams of being an artist of sorts that toyed with punk rock and hip-hop. My stage name was going to be dikHed and my first album title was going to be Pronounce The Bark.
I never got there but I will always remember the days when I wrote down pages and pages of lyrics / poems aspiring to be a musician. Three of my poems can actually be found on Poetry.com. They are nothing special and never won poetry awards but they are words I jotted down on paper and I am pretty damn happy about that.
As of late I have not been going out much due to lack of $$$. I am focusing on getting those bills paid down and making sure there is a roof over my head. I miss going to multiple shows a week and seeing friends old and new while doing so. Sometimes I have to play the role of responsible adult and fight that urge to spend money.
I sadly declined an invite Friday from Matt to join him at Musica in Akron to see some bands. Honestly I wanted to go but just don’t have that extra coin to spend on admission. I know we would have had a blast and it was the first time in a while he has ventured into my neck of the woods. I bet I could have even gotten him to drive.
Instead I went to dinner with my pal Kolb and his father, sis, niece at Rocknie’s near my house. I was invited earlier in the week and did not want to miss the chance at seeing Mr. Kolb. Fatty and his brother Bill also joined us for a nice meal full of mostly insults. It was great. Kolb’s father loves Nickelback and is damn proud of it. I on the otherhand am not and tried to convince him that there is real music outside that adult contemporary crap. It was good fun.
After that I just wanted to go home and be alone. I was in a funk and really did not want to be around people.
I had plans of staying and and blogging, reviewing, catching up on email, and whatnot. I wanted to be internet hermit and I would have been happy with that. My friends Kolb and Fatty had other ideas and begged me to go with them to the “Valley” in Akron, a gathering of bars surrounded by apartment complexes filled with college kids.
I figured it could not hurt to go out just for a bit and hang wth my friends. Plus Kolb’s father joined us too and I never get to see that classy man much.
The moment I walked down the concrete steps to the bars I wanted to turn around and go home. I don’t drink, I hate mainstream top 40 music, and most college kids annoy the hell out of me. What was I thinking?
Matt kept texting me on how good of a time he is having as I am standing at a table where just about everyone around me is sucking down drinks and smoking like chimneys all while bad music is blasting. At one time some drunk moron fell on me and almost burned me with his lit cancer stick. I could only imagine what would have happened if he burnt me or my Ol’ Dirty Bastard shirt I was proudly wearing…
I was not enjoying the atmosphere but I was enjoying the company around me. It was nice to kick it with my pals and meet some of their cool friends too. There might have also been some eye candy too…
I finally left the “Valley” after the douchebag to non-douchebag ratio was 20:1 and came home to my pups who are always happy to see me. Rather than pass out I opted to stay up and play Wii Sports Resort. Before I knew it the sun was about to come up. Sheesh!
It was nice to get out but I really wish I could have gone to Musica instead. Next time Matt, I promise.
Life is tough sometimes and the personal problems and battles sometimes become too much ever for a tough guy like me. Things will work out for the best whatever they may be. I should be out of this funk soon and I will return to my regularly scheduled blogging nonsence, I just hope most of you will stick around for it!
One thought on “Dazed, Confused, Amused.”
This will be a distant memory before you know it. I’m grateful for your friendship, which in itself, came along at a time that I was having tough times of my own. This friendship is one of the things that I’m most proud of, that emerged from among the wreckage of those days. You’re a good dude, and sometimes shitty things happen to good dudes. We pick up, we move on. And yes, we will have the occasional bad day after that, but even that passes eventually. Looking forward to hanging with you!