Blog On: The Vomitus Prime Show According To Kevin

One of my pals since the easy days of sitting on milk crates on Saturday night on the side of a Dunkin Donuts has been telling me a lot about something out there I need to check out.  He even went so far as to asking me to do a little write-up about said entertainment.

I had a better idea.  I told him to do it.  Not because I am lazy and did not want to, but I wanted his excitement for the podcast put into words for all to read.  At first Kevin was hesitant and after strong force and blatant threats he agreed.

So now I turn it over to Kevin…  Thanks pal.


Remember the days when you were a sophomore in high school and you were so into that one awesome band? You listened to them all the time, sported the t-shirt, and told everyone about them just trying to share the love.  Sadly people just gave you an idiot stare while asking if you still had to pee in a cup before school.  The wanted nothing to do with you or that stupid band you were in to.

Shockingly a few months later those same people that you were wildly raving at are telling you about the same new band that they discovered.  You knew deep down inside that you though were the OG of that band, you knew about them all along…

I’m about to relive that glory once again, but not with a band this time.  This time it is with a podcast.

WAIT!  Keep reading.

I know that there is a lot of garbage podcasts out there, especially in the comedy section. Just because you have $20 for a mic and your mom told you that you were talented doesn’t make it OK to have a show. There is talent out there, you just have to look.

For the past few months I have been listening to Bill and Will make some comedy magic on something called The Vomitus Prime podcast.

What is Vomitus Prime you ask?  I took this direct from their site to give you a little insight on what they are all about:

Vomitus Prime has nothing to do with transformable robots. It’s a rotating cast from the tail end of Generation X. They spend about an hour roughly once a week reminiscing their past glories, dreaming up derelict things to save money, and mocking others. Sometimes high-tech, sometimes classless, sometimes culinary. Always worth every cent.

Now that I have your attention…

Bill is currently working on his 121st episode with his 3rd 4th 5th 6th co-host, Will. The show takes place somewhere in the Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin tri-state area, it’s exact location remaining a mystery.

Actually, now that it’s getting into winter you might be able to find the hideout by the glow of the depression light via Bill’s desk. Bill is a man with the social skills of The Unabomber and a sense of humor reminiscent of Bill Hicks. His partner, Will, is an ADD-afflicted nymphomaniac whose curiosity takes the show on wild tangents.

When you get your weekly dose of Vomitus Prime you’ll get a mix of politically uncool humor. Everything is fair game, and don’t worry–you’ll get used to getting the stink-eye from folks at the grocery store when you let out a maniacal laugh from the show.

Listening to Vomitus Prime keeps you at age 25 – forever. Its a time when life’s early milestones have been passed. You are no longer carded because the bartender can see the pleading in your eyes for a drink. Golden and amber refreshment is the only way to replenish the bit of your soul that is taken every day in Cubicleland.

Much like happy hour, an hour of Vomitus Prime lets you rant about the day, laugh about it, and point on the doll where life has maliciously touched you. Its enough to get you through it until you have to go right back at it tomorrow.

In each episode, members of The Vomitus Party call in their Vomications for all of the cool stuff in their world, and vehemently Decepticoning the merciless ways the life can put you through the wringer. Other features of the show are the drunken cooking tips from Wolfgang Drunk, knowing the value of a “dollah”, and remembering all of the awesome things in life that for some reason disappeared in Bringin’ It Back.

It is one of the few podcasts I’ve found that strongly encourages audience participation and they do it with great results. The place where Vomitus Prime eclipses most all other comedy shows is the chemistry between the hosts. You have Bill’s viciously clever wit that melds with Will’s obscure, yet relevant observations.

If you’re new to podcasts this is a good place to start. If you’re still looking for a good comedy podcast that’s more than dick and fart jokes from the morning zoo, (Vomitus Prime have only the finest fancy dick and fart jokes), head over to www.vomitusprime.com or find them on iTunes and see, rather listen to, the nonsense I speak about.

I Want: DJ Hero

I’m not into video games like I used to be.  This realization almost hurts the geek in me because there was a time when I was more than obsessed with picking up a controller and losing my mind for hours.  Video games have surrounded my life starting with Atari back in the late 70’s.

Back when I was just a small child my folks brought home an Atari 2600.  I would play that system until the controllers would break.  At the time it was the greatest thing ever.  I was able to take a square figured guy and side-scroll him while dodging scorpions and alligators.  Sometimes I would fall into the holes and sneak past the harder parts.  (Yes, I speak of Pitfall)

Throughout my video game years I’ve saved the Princess thousands of times, took the Browns (or Cleveland equivalent) to the Tecmo Bowl, defeated a creepy fat mustached villain thanks to a blue hedge hog, and saved Zelda a bunch after recovering the Tri-Force.  I’ve beat countless countries in Super Dodge Ball as well as even once TKO’d Mike Tyson after he beat me thousands of times.  I’ve won races, done impossible skateboarding tricks, killed a robotic Hitler, and even round the reverse world on Super Mario World.

“Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start” actually means something to me and is not just some random group of commands.  I am a video game junkie, I know this.

The systems just got better and better as I grew up.  My eyes would open wide with excitement when I would hear about new systems being created.  My folks tried their best and not cave in and buy every system that came out but between my brother and I begging them as well as saving out pennies we did good.  Nintendo, Turbo Graphix 16, Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis – yeah, we had em.

Obviously as the years passed the gaming systems just got more insane.  The first time I saw the graphics on a Nintendo 64 my mouth dropped open.  Remember Goldeneye?  What a game…  That and Perfect Dark.  I remember playing Twisted Metal on my friend’s Playstation for the first time. Then there was the first time I saw someone play Tony Hawk Pro Skater – I am sounding like a complete nerd now.  Deal.

I remember these things and it freaks me out sometimes.  Why did I get so excited and further more how is it that many of my memories revolve around video games.  I remember when I was 16 I played Super Baseball 2020 at my friend’s father’s condo in Strongsville.  People are not supposed to remember things like this!!!

I guess one of the reasons I never grew out of video gaming and loved it so is because it was around me all the time.  Video games were not just eye hand coordination, they were escapes from reality.  Once Grand Theft Auto came out it was turning into a violent stress reliever.  Halo took away many hours of my life but I have no complaints at all, I was having fun.

Xboxs, PS2s, 360s, DSs, Gamecubes, Wii’s…  They got better and better and my money was well spent on them.  True story – I have waited in line more than once for a Nintendo product.  I was #101 for the Nintendo Wii when it came out in 2006.  I waiting in the cold at a Best Buy just so I could be one of the firsts to have it.  Why?  Because video games rule…  I also waited in line for the Gamecube when it came out as well as waited in line on 9-9-99 for the Sega Dreamcast.  Call me what you want, I am aware I was a video game junkie.

Forget the fact that sometimes there is a layer of dust on the Wii or the 360 some days.  I am a busy person and don’t get to play the systems like I used to.  In fact I have at least a dozen games I keep telling myself I need to play/beat and I never get to them when I have a day off.  I really just need to drop everything and play those games but then things won’t get done around the house…  UGH – I am turning into an adult.

I have the systems here at the BHP ranch for when I have time to drop a couple hours in a virtual world on rare occasion.  I prefer the 8-bit games usually because of the nostalgia and perhaps the simplicity of the game but I still like some of the games on the newer systems.

One game in particular is Guitar Hero.  I tried avoiding that game as much as possible but got sucked into it.  It is funny to imagine me, a 32 year old, standing in front of my tv and playing this game.  As if that is not funny enough, imagine the thoughts going on in my head as I play it.  There are moments I feel like I am the Guitar Hero, a rockstar.  Who cares if there are no strings on the plastic child sized guitar?  I don’t, I just rocked out to a Coheed & Cambria song and got 98%.

Still even Guitar Hero gets repetitious and I sometimes just put the plastic Les Paul down for months on end.

I have not been intrigued over a game for a while.  I have not played Madden in years, have no idea what players are in Tekken, and to this day have not tried the newest Grand Theft Auto.  Some of me tells myself that I’ve played them before and it is nothing new.  I guess I am bored with it.

Then comes DJ Hero.

This game looks AWESOME.  I want.  I want.  I want.

I love the art of spinning and scratching.  It amazes me and now thanks to a video game once again I can pretend I am something I am not and love it.

I have not caved in yet and purchased it mostly because the price of the game is $120.  That is a lot of money for me to be spending on something that quite possibly may pick up dust in the near future.  Still, I want this damn game.

Why?  Because it looks fun and Daft Punk is in the commercials and I can pretend I am a amazing DJ and so on and so on…  The game really does look well created.  I really should go to a store and try it out but that would be a huge mistake and if I did like it as much as I am thinking I will, it would come home with me.

Looks as if I still am a video game junkie after all…

The Suck: Folk Singer Taylor Mitchell Dies From Coyote Attack

Such a shame to hear about this.  A young up and coming Canadian folk singer named Taylor Mitchell lost her life on Tuesday when she was attacked by coyotes when hiking.  She was only 19 years old.

It was reported that she was hiking by herself Tuesday in Cape Breton Highlands National Park in Nova Scotia when the animals attacked.

If you would like to check out some of her music head over to her MySpace page.

If you would like to make a donation to the Taylor Mitchell Memorial Fun please click HERE.

Babble Blog: G250 & Shooting Trees

Good news everybody!

All I can think of at this very moment is Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth:

Seriously though, there is some good news as I was able to recover a lot of data thanks to a computer whiz at work. This means I have all my music and photos back. Sadly I am still having a hard time finding my contacts and whatnot in Outlook. I really hope I can figure something out and retrieve some of those email messages but if it is not able to happen at least I got something back…

Why are computers such a pain in the ass? I wish I could have had some warning so that I could have planned accordingly. Lesson learned.

I have noticed lately that I have actually been blogging more personal aspects of life rather than what music I am listening to. Get used to it. Sometimes there is nothing better than typing out your day/week/month for the world to read. Who knows, someone might get a kick out of it.

A few days ago I was having one of those days where the zippers were falling apart on my hoodies and the pain from screwdrivers stabbing my thumb while trying to fix it just made it worse. Crappy as it was, it turned for the best when I found a package at my front door. It is the little things in life that mean the most. Someone out there took time out of their life to make me something and honestly it is the coolest thing I have ever received:

Of course I have already sent something back. I look forward to the reaction. It was nothing absurd in case you were wondering… It was thoughtful, fun, and maybe even amazing.

BHP is still getting things straightened out with the whole loss of the laptop. Any day now I will be posting worthless information for everyone to shake their heads to. Speaking of, let me tell you about my weekend…

This past weekend I went to Cincinnati to visit one of my best friends. Usually when I make the trip down there I take a friend but this time it was just me and the pups. I left Saturday morning and arrived there just before noon and returned home the following evening around 7pm. That one quick trip was full of hilarity from the moment I pulled into his driveway.

I could sit here and talk about everything that happened while down there but that might take a while so I will just point out the parts I look back at and either shake my head or laugh at.

-Hibachi. There is a place in Cincinnati called Tokyo that has the best sushi and hibachi ever. I make a point to go there each time I visit. Their dragon rolls are quite possibly the best I have ever had and the hibachi is damn tasty as well. The staff is super friendly and usually when we go it is not busy. This particular time it was just me and my friend at the hibachi grill. We stuffed our faces, talked for hours,and sipped on sake.  Life is good.

Sushi @ Tokyo

-IKEA. I have always liked IKEA products but never had been to one of their stores. An IKEA store opened in Cincinnati within the last couple years and I decided it was time to pay the store a visit. Walking in there I felt like I was in a Disney World attraction with all the different types of people and giant cargo elevators as well as human jammed escalators. I felt like I was in a rat race of sorts following all the people through the upper level of the building that showcased different rooms full of IKEA product. After endlessly dodging customers and employees while looking for an end to the maze I found myself getting bored and decided a pillow fight was in order. Some of the IKEA zombies did not like that. Moving on we managed to get lost but then noticed the convenient arrows on the ground were pointing the opposite direction we were walking so a u-turn got us back on track. As if the upper level was not enough we skipped the Swedish meatball stand and headed downstairs where it was just a warehouse of product. I admit I bought some stuff but did not spend a lot of money. I grabbed two pillows, two small tables, and a tool set. I wanted more but knew it was not a good idea. The shopping carts did sweet 360’s too.

-Roman Candles (Part 1). When a friend tells you that the roman candle you are about to light off may shoot far, listen. I did not and shot one of the balls of fire over my friend’s fence and into his neighbor’s yard. Oops.

-Guinness 250th Anniversary Stout. It’s been a little over a month since I started drinking again. I went alcohol free for a while not just because I wanted to see if I could but because I needed a break. As soon as I fell off the wagon I had a mission to find the Guinness 250 stout. The G250 is a limited edition Guinness stout that was brewed for their 250 year anniversary – simple enough right? Well I have been unsuccessful in finding it on tap in my neck of the woods but was lucky to find an Irish pub in Newport, KY that had it. My friend and I drove there, took at seat at the back bar, and proudly ordered a pint. My (insert worship character of choice) that beer was absolutely AMAZING. It is not thick like Guinness as it is a stout, but still holds that distinguished taste I love.

-Zombie Girl. After we left the pub we walked around the Newport area and as I walked past a Hot Topic I noticed a girl dressed like a zombie lying on the floor perfectly still just inside the entrance. She waved ever so slightly to inform me she was not dead (yet) so being the friendly guy that I am I walked up to her and complimented her on her zombie success. It was funny to see other passerby’s reactions, many who just did not get it. I wanted to punch those people in the face but did not. As my friend and I left the Hot Topic I noticed Ms. Zombie Girl had her hand open as if she were holding it open for a donation. I told my friend I wish I had some change to drop in her hand but my friend was quick to my idea and pressed thirteen cents into the palm of her hand. She looked me confused and we left laughing. We are idiots, yes.

-Roman Candles (Part 2). This time was a little funnier and a little dumber as I thought it would be a good idea to light more roman candles in the early hours of the morning. This time I made sure to hold it away from any neighboring house but for whatever reason managed to shoot a tree with the first fireball. I am an idiot, yes I am.

I survived the weekend unscathed. I did not hurt myself or others so I must say the weekend was a great success. I visited one of my best friends ever, ate mad amounts of foods, drank for at least 12 hours, and remember everything. Good times indeed.

The dogs had fun too.  Of course I took them, they have friends in Cincinnati too…

The pups...

This music blog could have a driver's license by now…